Condoms: how do men treat them?
The perception of a condom is influenced by a person's personal history, as well as how he imagines himself and his sexual organ. Basically, condom use causes difficulties for insecure men who are afraid of erectile dysfunction. Most often this problem occurs in men who have reached the age of 50 years. "It seems to me," continues Rossi, "that a condom becomes a problem when men are not sure of the duration of an erection. I will add that if a condom is worn by a partner, a man experiences this even more: he feels that there is a lack of trust, even an accusation, while the man at the moments of intimacy most wants to appear in the most favorable light. " To reduce the dramatic nature of what is happening, it is enough for women to change their attitude, showing by all their behavior that a condom is exactly the means that makes it possible to make love the most relaxed. And do not rudely demand: "Put on!", And offer: "Let's use", helping a partner put on a condom as if it were part of an erotic game, preliminary caress.A lot of women do not realize how difficult this is, the subtle thing - male sexuality: after all, men are not just "machines" for sex. The condom is like a transparent mask that flaunts and exaggerates the problems of every man. It is enough to read the stories presented in this article in order to make sure of it. "
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At the age of 20-30 the condom is perceived as such a detail, which is better to use less.
Stefan, 25 years old, medical student
"I never made love without a condom. I do not think there is any big difference in whether you're having sex with a condom or not, but that's until the day I tried without. The day when I decide that the time has come will be a great holiday for me, because it will mean that I have found the very girl with whom we will all be serious. This year I met a girl for 3 months, we talked about how you could try to make love without a condom, but I was not sure. And I was right: she left me for one of my friends. I will try not to use a condom only when I am sure that I have found a girl who really loves me and who will not go to the left. Yes, and I will not.In general, when I can make sure that I made the right, final choice. "
Nikolay, 20 years old, confectioner
"My first girlfriend and I made love at once without a condom, because both were virgins. We broke up after two years together. During the first sex after parting with her, I felt lost: I had no idea how and when to put on a condom. I was very uncomfortable, and I did everything wrong. Over the next month, this bloody story became a real torture for all my friends: I could not calm down, I continued to get all the questions and torment them with my doubts. "
Why does not he / she have sex with me?
Leonid, 21, student of art school
"I always wear a condom, but a second before orgasm I take it off. And the greatest pleasure I experience when I finish on the partner or her in the mouth. For me, this ritual is very important. If I can not fully be "inside" a partner, I want to at least have the opportunity to cum on her body without a condom, not to be wrapped in plastic. If I end up in a condom, it's very, very much like the feeling of masturbation. "
Renat, 20 years old, student-economist
"For me," sex "automatically means" condom ".Parents, school, television - all this gave me an indissoluble sequence of "sex-condoms". I never made love without it. Naturally, this reflected on the rhythm of the whole process, especially the first time. But now I've adjusted myself, I put it on for a second, without any problems. I can imagine that without him, the sensations would be quite different. And maybe I would change something in the process itself. If I could stay longer inside the woman I just loved, I would be more relaxed and I would even have time for tenderness. And instead you are distracted, while you put on or take it off, the magic of all this disappears. "
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Men aged 30 to 40 years even use a condom, but mostly not of their own free will.
Felix, 32 years old, engineer
"If it's sex for one night - no problem: I put it on before the partner asks me. And if I feel that a relationship can start, I prefer not to use it. I had it three times, and all three times I insisted on not using it to achieve maximum closeness.All my partners took my request as a lack of respect for them. And I understood this as a refusal. If I feel for the partner something more, I like to present her as the mother of my children, albeit not immediately. Relations, from which in principle a child may appear, seem more exciting to me. The condom protects against death, but makes life more banal. If you wear it, it neutralizes the risk, but it can greatly reduce the passion. I wear it, but only because it's so necessary. So often I have a feeling that I like to row in some kind of vacuum. "
Mark, 38 years old, stage designer
"I always used condoms without problems. Sensations, of course, become dull, but there are also advantages. For example, excitation is better controlled, the erection lasts longer. Of course, you do not have that sense of pleasure when you leave a part of yourself in your partner: when everything is over, the feeling that nothing has happened, no risk, the mood does not change. But it's good for now. Every time when a girl asked me to do without a condom, I hesitated. Maybe that's why I started giving in, because without "protection" I felt,that he must take on a certain responsibility, or at least be ready for it. "read also
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George, 36, responsible for external relations
"I have a reputation as a seducer. And really, I can not resist the temptation. The condom gives me a sense of freedom of action, to which I turn, without thinking. If I have it with me in my wallet, I behave quite differently, as if I did not have it. With some women, I would never have made love without a condom. I tried not to carry it around with me, to somehow change my approach to the opposite sex, to learn how to build relationships. And I realized that a condom is a tool for someone who wants to protect themselves ... from true love. "
Timur, 36 years old, cook
"I started to have sex with women early and realized my homosexuality only at 26. I always used a condom, and yet I'm HIV-infected: apparently, one of them was defective ... When I found out about it, my world collapsed. I did not give a damn about anything and everything, I had sex without a condom, but only with the same people as me, HIV-positive.Now I have a boyfriend and we always use a condom. My elect does not bother with this at all, he never had sex in any other way and did not do it. But even if he asked me to neglect the condom, I would never have done it: the thought that I can infect him, horrifies me. "
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For very many 40-50-year-olds, a condom is something foreign, which prevents pleasure.
Raul, 54 years old, director
"I divorced almost 16 years ago, and since then I have not found (yes, honestly, and not looking for) a permanent partner. I rarely used a condom for one simple reason - I had an erection because of him. Besides, I do not have many connections. When I meet a woman who is interested in me and which I do not yet know, I like to devote myself completely to all the subtleties of courtship, from playful mutual views to preliminary caresses. All this interests me much more than sex itself. I'm a fairly rational person, and the final part, at least for me, is not basic in a relationship.Previously, it was not, but the older I get, the more important the fantasy. And I have enough of them. "
Martin, 47 years old, dentist
"I've been married for over 20 years, and I'm absolutely faithful ... because of laziness. Without a doubt, I might have a lot of adventures on the side, if not for the constant concern about the condom. I used it only 10 times in my entire life. For me to wear it is a whole story. I spend a lot of time on it, my hands shake when I open the package, I turn it around with difficulty, besides, the more you think, however you adjust, the more you get on ... But worst of all, I stop focusing on directly sexual intercourse. And in such situations, I disappointed a couple of times. This discourages me from doing anything to change anything. "read also From child love to adult libido: the emergence of sexuality
Anton, 50 years old, photographer
"I was married 20 years, the first time I used a condom 5 years ago. It does not cause difficulties, but I do not get any pleasure. At some point, I just need to take it off and finish without it. I did not use it very often, and only because I was asked.With each new novel, I immerse myself in feelings. I understand perfectly well that this is a rather risky behavior, and in order to calm myself, I always think that among my acquaintances there is no one who can have sexually transmitted diseases. And nevertheless, I still try to get only a stable relationship. "
Alexander, 48 years old, publisher
"In the 1980s, I was in America, just when HIV was mowing everyone. I then instantly changed all my sexual habits, and now the use of a condom does not represent for me absolutely no inconvenience. Use it - a thing quite natural, like washing hands before eating. Moreover, it seems to me that he has a lot of advantages. He gives every meeting a playful, frivolous mood, as if two adults are addicted to the game, without any hidden hints and meaningful views. "
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