Eight ways to lose weight for very busy people


In a typical latte or cappuccino with syrup and milk contains from 80 to 100 calories, and in the classic freshly brewed black coffee - 0 calories. If you drink two cups of latte per day, you can gain six kilograms per year! So if you want coffee, please. But no additives and sweeteners.

5 seconds: Breathe in full

The smell of fresh green apples, bananas and ripe pears will help to moderate appetite, and also to suppress the desire to eat something sweet. And all because historically our body is more inclined to consume natural fruits than artificial sugar. By the way, do not necessarily breathe the smell of fruit: the smell of hand cream with a fruity aroma is also suitable. It's easy to keep on the desktop.

15 seconds: imagine a pack of chocolates

Presenting food, we less want to eat it. The researchers asked people to imagine how they eat 30 chocolate candies, and then offered them the same candy. None of the participants could not eat much. Therefore, if you want unbearably sweet (salty, roasted) - just imagine how you are already eating it. The desire will disappear or diminish.

60 seconds: schedule meetings in the sports club

In the afternoon, you need to have time for training, for two working meetings and for coffee with a friend. If there is not enough time, try to make a friendly meeting right at the gym. Nothing motivates you as much as pair training.

Eight ways to lose weight for very busy people 75 seconds: buy frozen vegetables instead of canned

With the conservation of vitamins from the group B vitamins disappear and 95% of vitamin C. disappear. And frozen vegetables, on the contrary, retain all the useful properties and taste qualities.

100 seconds: buy fruit with bone

That is, plums, peaches, nectarines. They help to get rid of fat on the stomach, lower cholesterol and reduce the risk of diabetes. Try to eat them in the morning - for breakfast. Or replace them with snacks throughout the day.

2 minutes: have a snack before dinner

This may sound strange, but if you go out with your friends to have dinner, you will eat an apple or drink a cup of low-fat broth, the amount of calories consumed for dinner will decrease by 20%! With the standard "weight" of a restaurant dinner at 1128 calories, a year you can gain about 10 kg if you go there every week.

10 minutes: prefer a hearty dish of beef

A perfect recipe for a busy weekend, when you have a lot to do. In a cast-iron pan, heat one teaspoon of vegetable oil, and then fry in it a half kilogram of beef. While the meat will be fried - it takes 10 minutes - cut the onion and a kilogram of mushrooms, then reduce the heat to a minimum and add them to the meat.

Then add two tablespoons of wine vinegar, a tablespoon of Worchester sauce, a bay leaf and 330 ml of dark beer. Cover and do your own thing for six hours. After this time you will have a fragrant and delicious dinner ready - and only 345 calories per serving!

Online course Psychologies: "When food is your friend"

Specially for Psychologies readers, an expert in the field of psychology of eating behavior and overweight correction with practical experience over 15 years Anastasia Tomilova will hold a 4-week online course "Eat consciously: when food is your friend". You will learn how to build relationships with food, create a delicious menu, understand how to stop overeating and get rid of debilitating diets. The program starts on January 16. Detailed information and registration by reference.

Read also How to eat not to gain weight: 2 rules and 8 principlesHow to eat not to gain weight: 2 rules and 8 principles

Anna Ostri, author of "Simple and easy recipes of the former bbw", lost three pounds in 35 kg. And it maintains the optimal weight for 18 years, without exhausting itself with prohibitions and restrictions.

10 life tips from your ... cat <br/>10 life tips from your ... cat

Cats have a special view of the world. If the dog is definitely worried about you and that you are happy, the cat is more concerned about their own well-being. But each of them has enough wisdom to share with us.

Text: Prepared by Anna Muradova Photo source: Getty Images
  • Like0
  • Like0
  • Tweet 0
  • Class! 0
  • Mail0
P about this theme new on the site
  • "Because of my father, I do not have a man"
  • The tragedy in Kemerovo: "I feel nothing, I'm bad?"
  • How not to burn out at work: 3 useful rules
  • 5 signs that your marriage is at stake
  • I constantly feel stupid
  • "Any tragedy in our country turns into a reduction of accounts"
  • 6 exercises to translate dreams into reality
  • Self-worth: how to learn to be yourself
Log in to be able to leave comments.
Подробнее

Sex Slimming: The 5 most useful postures


Movement is life. And sex is pleasure. If you combine, life will be a pleasure. Ekaterina Lyubimova did so. It's one thing to work in the gym with weights and iron, and quite another - to arrange an incendiary intensive workout at home at night. This and training is not called! But the effect appears very soon. As in any case, if you do it with pleasure. You just have to follow several principles.

The most favorable time when weight goes away is easier, and the body at this time is not stocked up with fat in case of pregnancy, from the end of menstruation to ovulation. If you want to lose weight, at this time you need to load yourself to the maximum.

Use the principle of intensive training to work out all muscle groups: without limiting one or two poses, go to the third, fourth, fifth; the average is 5-6.

Alternate 3-4 minutes of active movements and statics for 1 minute - at this time you need to hold a pose, straining your muscles, - the partner sails here.

To get the maximum effect, in each pose, "train" in 4 stages: the movement with the maximum amplitude, with an amplitude of three quarters, then with a small amplitude and in the ending - the static voltage.So in bodybuilding the muscle mass is pumped up and the relief appears.

Continue the "lesson" for at least 30-40 minutes - the fat burning begins only after 20-30 minutes of intensive training.

Do not forget about the regularity. Ideally, arrange this "training" every day for 1.2-2 months (of course, taking into account natural breaks).

Sex Slimming: The 5 most useful postures PHOTOS Ignat Osokin "The Rider"

In this position, the muscles of the thighs and buttocks work very well. In sports, the muscle becomes embossed when it is pumped with four different amplitudes of motion: first with a maximum amplitude, then moving three quarters, then with the smallest amplitude, almost 5 degrees, and then it should be frozen in a statics with the most strained muscles. In our case, this movement of the pelvis up and down, with the most strained muscles of the hips. When the pelvis moves upwards during inspiration, we squeeze the muscles of the buttocks and the pelvic floor as much as possible, on exhalation - we fall down and relax. So we continue about 4-5 minutes.

Sex Slimming: The 5 most useful postures A more complex version of this pose is the "Asian Rider"

Immediately after the "Rider" pose, we move to the "Asian Rider". To do this, first take out the right foot and put it on the floor.The movements in this position are reminiscent of the movement of the wasp when it shakes the belly. Then we take forward and the left leg and we are above the partner squatting - in this position it is already more difficult to move. But this means that we are now swinging the muscles, which before that just "slept." After all, we mainly involve the muscles of the thighs and buttocks at the usual angle - when walking, and for relief we need a complete muscle training, maximum flexion-extension in the amplitude that is conceived by nature.

Sex Slimming: The 5 most useful postures "Frog on the contrary"

When you feel tired, bend your knees and lean back with an emphasis on your arms, arching like a bow. So we include biceps and triceps into the work - often these places give out the age of the woman. A woman who in sex is generous with fictions and is capable of such "acrobatic numbers" will never have flabby hands. Hold this pose in a static for about a minute, straining the muscles of your back, thighs and arms. The man at this time will not be idle and, of course, will seize the initiative.

Sex Slimming: The 5 most useful postures Spider Woman

Take your feet forward, so that you rest your feet on the floor near the partner's shoulders, lift the pelvis and move, leaning only on your hands and feet.Without physical training, this is not so easy to do. So at the same time it is a test for endurance. If you hold out for a few minutes - well. At the end of the exercise, we exit into the back bridge and stand there for about a minute, straining the muscles of the back, the press, hands and feet.

Sex Slimming: The 5 most useful postures "Live weight"

This pose is perfect for working on the lower press. Do not forget that here, as in any other position, you can show imagination - for example, to cross his legs at the ankles (if a man will experience tighter embrace), abut he kicked in the chest and repel - probably all seen how the pump feet on the Strength Training . Here you work with the live weight of the partner, and the more this weight, the better you pump both the press and the hips.

Sex Slimming: The 5 most useful postures "Rider on a chair"

The pose on the chair is also my favorite! In general, I like all the poses. Each of them has its own peculiarity. Here you finally met with your partner close, eyes in your eyes, and you can hug him. And of course, in this pose there is room for working out the muscle-stabilizers, which help us to maintain balance. In fitness, they are taught in the classroom pilates and functional training. And here you can deviate as much as you want, rotate, screw up, change the force of pressure and push it with all your weight.

After a month of such activities, you will notice that exercises in the gym have become easier for you, and poses in sex have been added. And most importantly, even if you lose weight, you do not want to stop this sex workout!

Ekaterina Lyubimova - sex-coach, author of the training "Sex for weight loss."

Подробнее

I'm afraid to take the driver's license examination


"How to imagine myself driving: so much to remember! Steering wheel, gas, brake, a lot of rules ... I just barely breathe when I think about it, - confesses 44-year-old Alexander. - Maybe I should not take the right. Suddenly, I will be a bad driver, a threat to others on the road? "But Alexander is a man with a higher education, an experienced archivist, a mother of three, knows and knows a lot. So why does she, like many of her comrades in misfortune, feel that she can not surrender to the rights?

I avoid possible failures. Driving license does not get without an exam, even two: first you need to pass the theory (traffic rules), then driving. But the very thought of this is of concern to many, it "awakens in us the fear of failure associated with examinations," explains psychoanalyst Virginie Megglé. Anxiety of this kind is often combined with a heightened sense of responsibility, which is characteristic of those who are used to taking care of others.

Read also an ideal remedy for scattered driving

I draw a catastrophic scenario. In every possible way to evade the receipt of a driver's license,whose imagination is filled with frightening thoughts: "I can not manage the management", "I risk becoming the culprit of the accident" ... "The car that we do not have yet becomes the object of our fantasies, and we can unconsciously project on him thoughts of death" psychoanalyst.

It's hard for me to grow up. The inability to drive drives us into a dependent position. "It's often a sign that it's hard for us to grow up," Virgini Meggle continues. - The fear of losing all the advantages of childhood is stronger than the natural desire to gain independence. It happens that parents, not realizing this problem, insist that their child surrender to the rights, thereby reinforcing his inner protest. " And then instead of driving the car ourselves, we prefer to depend on who will give us a lift if necessary.

read also Why are we driving like this? My decision

Galina, 34 years old, nurse

"When my mother was nervous, I was very risky, even if my brother and I were sitting in the backseat. And she often told me that I was not fit for anything. It took me many years to overcome my fear and decide to drive. I asked my husband to teach me how to drive.I was more comfortable with him than with the driving instructor. I told myself that my mother was wrong and that I would succeed. And it turned out: after six months of training, I got a driver's license on the first attempt. "

What to do Move forward in stages

Divide the receipt of the driver's license for individual segments (enroll in courses, buy a collection of tickets ...). And continue to shorten these segments until the task on each of them does not seem feasible (enroll in the courses: first find the nearest to the house, then dial the number and negotiate ...). Enjoy what you are already doing, and improve what can be improved through training. And do not consider getting rights the end of the path: after all, you will learn further.

read also "No" means "maybe" Live in the present

Constantly thinking about the failures in the future ("I'm going to get traffic rules", "I'll mix the gas with the brake" ...), we lose touch with the present. To restore it, switch to immediate experiences ("No danger threatens me during the lesson or in this stationary machine"), do not look too far into the future and do not miss the chance to rejoice in the present.

Approve your choice

To surrender to the rights is not to become like everyone else. If you reject driving as behavior involving danger or cruelty, consider that the choice of driving style depends only on you. If you wish, you can take any precautions: for example, to drive only during the day and not to exceed the speed limit.

Read also "Well, who goes that way!""Well, who goes that way!"

Many of those who sit behind the wheel, you can not just quote further. As if some dark mechanisms are included in us together with the turn of the key in the ignition lock. Whence this madness of emotions and deeds?

Pedestrian and his motoristsPedestrian and his motorists

Even the best friends sometimes find it difficult to understand each other - especially if one is a driver and another is a pedestrian. All the time it turns out that they see the world from different angles.

Text: Elsa Lestwickaya Photo source: Getty Images
  • Like0
  • Like0
  • Tweet 0
  • Class! 0
  • Mail0
P about this theme new on the site
  • "Because of my father, I do not have a man"
  • The tragedy in Kemerovo: "I feel nothing, I'm bad?"
  • How not to burn out at work: 3 useful rules
  • 5 signs that your marriage is at stake
  • I constantly feel stupid
  • "Any tragedy in our country turns into a reduction of accounts"
  • 6 exercises to translate dreams into reality
  • Self-worth: how to learn to be yourself
Log in to be able to leave comments.
Подробнее

I'm afraid to take the driver's license examination


"How to imagine myself driving: so much to remember! Steering wheel, gas, brake, a lot of rules ... I just barely breathe when I think about it, - confesses 44-year-old Alexander. - Maybe I should not take the right. Suddenly, I will be a bad driver, a threat to others on the road? "But Alexander is a man with a higher education, an experienced archivist, a mother of three, knows and knows a lot. So why does she, like many of her comrades in misfortune, feel that she can not surrender to the rights?

I avoid possible failures. Driving license does not get without an exam, even two: first you need to pass the theory (traffic rules), then driving. But the very thought of this is of concern to many, it "awakens in us the fear of failure associated with examinations," explains psychoanalyst Virginie Megglé. Anxiety of this kind is often combined with a heightened sense of responsibility, which is characteristic of those who are used to taking care of others.

Read also an ideal remedy for scattered driving

I draw a catastrophic scenario. In every possible way to evade the receipt of a driver's license,whose imagination is filled with frightening thoughts: "I can not manage the management", "I risk becoming the culprit of the accident" ... "The car that we do not have yet becomes the object of our fantasies, and we can unconsciously project on him thoughts of death" psychoanalyst.

It's hard for me to grow up. The inability to drive drives us into a dependent position. "It's often a sign that it's hard for us to grow up," Virgini Meggle continues. - The fear of losing all the advantages of childhood is stronger than the natural desire to gain independence. It happens that parents, not realizing this problem, insist that their child surrender to the rights, thereby reinforcing his inner protest. " And then instead of driving the car ourselves, we prefer to depend on who will give us a lift if necessary.

read also Why are we driving like this? My decision

Galina, 34 years old, nurse

"When my mother was nervous, I was very risky, even if my brother and I were sitting in the backseat. And she often told me that I was not fit for anything. It took me many years to overcome my fear and decide to drive. I asked my husband to teach me how to drive.I was more comfortable with him than with the driving instructor. I told myself that my mother was wrong and that I would succeed. And it turned out: after six months of training, I got a driver's license on the first attempt. "

What to do Move forward in stages

Divide the receipt of the driver's license for individual segments (enroll in courses, buy a collection of tickets ...). And continue to shorten these segments until the task on each of them does not seem feasible (enroll in the courses: first find the nearest to the house, then dial the number and negotiate ...). Enjoy what you are already doing, and improve what can be improved through training. And do not consider getting rights the end of the path: after all, you will learn further.

read also "No" means "maybe" Live in the present

Constantly thinking about the failures in the future ("I'm going to get traffic rules", "I'll mix the gas with the brake" ...), we lose touch with the present. To restore it, switch to immediate experiences ("No danger threatens me during the lesson or in this stationary machine"), do not look too far into the future and do not miss the chance to rejoice in the present.

Approve your choice

To surrender to the rights is not to become like everyone else. If you reject driving as behavior involving danger or cruelty, consider that the choice of driving style depends only on you. If you wish, you can take any precautions: for example, to drive only during the day and not to exceed the speed limit.

Read also "Well, who goes that way!""Well, who goes that way!"

Many of those who sit behind the wheel, you can not just quote further. As if some dark mechanisms are included in us together with the turn of the key in the ignition lock. Whence this madness of emotions and deeds?

Pedestrian and his motoristsPedestrian and his motorists

Even the best friends sometimes find it difficult to understand each other - especially if one is a driver and another is a pedestrian. All the time it turns out that they see the world from different angles.

Text: Elsa Lestwickaya Photo source: Getty Images
  • Like0
  • Like0
  • Tweet 0
  • Class! 0
  • Mail0
P about this theme new on the site
  • "Because of my father, I do not have a man"
  • The tragedy in Kemerovo: "I feel nothing, I'm bad?"
  • How not to burn out at work: 3 useful rules
  • 5 signs that your marriage is at stake
  • I constantly feel stupid
  • "Any tragedy in our country turns into a reduction of accounts"
  • 6 exercises to translate dreams into reality
  • Self-worth: how to learn to be yourself
Log in to be able to leave comments.
Подробнее

I'm afraid to take the driver's license examination


"How to imagine myself driving: so much to remember! Steering wheel, gas, brake, a lot of rules ... I just barely breathe when I think about it, - confesses 44-year-old Alexander. - Maybe I should not take the right. Suddenly, I will be a bad driver, a threat to others on the road? "But Alexander is a man with a higher education, an experienced archivist, a mother of three, knows and knows a lot. So why does she, like many of her comrades in misfortune, feel that she can not surrender to the rights?

I avoid possible failures. Driving license does not get without an exam, even two: first you need to pass the theory (traffic rules), then driving. But the very thought of this is of concern to many, it "awakens in us the fear of failure associated with examinations," explains psychoanalyst Virginie Megglé. Anxiety of this kind is often combined with a heightened sense of responsibility, which is characteristic of those who are used to taking care of others.

Read also an ideal remedy for scattered driving

I draw a catastrophic scenario. In every possible way to evade the receipt of a driver's license,whose imagination is filled with frightening thoughts: "I can not manage the management", "I risk becoming the culprit of the accident" ... "The car that we do not have yet becomes the object of our fantasies, and we can unconsciously project on him thoughts of death" psychoanalyst.

It's hard for me to grow up. The inability to drive drives us into a dependent position. "It's often a sign that it's hard for us to grow up," Virgini Meggle continues. - The fear of losing all the advantages of childhood is stronger than the natural desire to gain independence. It happens that parents, not realizing this problem, insist that their child surrender to the rights, thereby reinforcing his inner protest. " And then instead of driving the car ourselves, we prefer to depend on who will give us a lift if necessary.

read also Why are we driving like this? My decision

Galina, 34 years old, nurse

"When my mother was nervous, I was very risky, even if my brother and I were sitting in the backseat. And she often told me that I was not fit for anything. It took me many years to overcome my fear and decide to drive. I asked my husband to teach me how to drive.I was more comfortable with him than with the driving instructor. I told myself that my mother was wrong and that I would succeed. And it turned out: after six months of training, I got a driver's license on the first attempt. "

What to do Move forward in stages

Divide the receipt of the driver's license for individual segments (enroll in courses, buy a collection of tickets ...). And continue to shorten these segments until the task on each of them does not seem feasible (enroll in the courses: first find the nearest to the house, then dial the number and negotiate ...). Enjoy what you are already doing, and improve what can be improved through training. And do not consider getting rights the end of the path: after all, you will learn further.

read also "No" means "maybe" Live in the present

Constantly thinking about the failures in the future ("I'm going to get traffic rules", "I'll mix the gas with the brake" ...), we lose touch with the present. To restore it, switch to immediate experiences ("No danger threatens me during the lesson or in this stationary machine"), do not look too far into the future and do not miss the chance to rejoice in the present.

Approve your choice

To surrender to the rights is not to become like everyone else. If you reject driving as behavior involving danger or cruelty, consider that the choice of driving style depends only on you. If you wish, you can take any precautions: for example, to drive only during the day and not to exceed the speed limit.

Read also "Well, who goes that way!""Well, who goes that way!"

Many of those who sit behind the wheel, you can not just quote further. As if some dark mechanisms are included in us together with the turn of the key in the ignition lock. Whence this madness of emotions and deeds?

Pedestrian and his motoristsPedestrian and his motorists

Even the best friends sometimes find it difficult to understand each other - especially if one is a driver and another is a pedestrian. All the time it turns out that they see the world from different angles.

Text: Elsa Lestwickaya Photo source: Getty Images
  • Like0
  • Like0
  • Tweet 0
  • Class! 0
  • Mail0
P about this theme new on the site
  • "Because of my father, I do not have a man"
  • The tragedy in Kemerovo: "I feel nothing, I'm bad?"
  • How not to burn out at work: 3 useful rules
  • 5 signs that your marriage is at stake
  • I constantly feel stupid
  • "Any tragedy in our country turns into a reduction of accounts"
  • 6 exercises to translate dreams into reality
  • Self-worth: how to learn to be yourself
Log in to be able to leave comments.
Подробнее

I'm afraid to take the driver's license examination


"How to imagine myself driving: so much to remember! Steering wheel, gas, brake, a lot of rules ... I just barely breathe when I think about it, - confesses 44-year-old Alexander. - Maybe I should not take the right. Suddenly, I will be a bad driver, a threat to others on the road? "But Alexander is a man with a higher education, an experienced archivist, a mother of three, knows and knows a lot. So why does she, like many of her comrades in misfortune, feel that she can not surrender to the rights?

I avoid possible failures. Driving license does not get without an exam, even two: first you need to pass the theory (traffic rules), then driving. But the very thought of this is of concern to many, it "awakens in us the fear of failure associated with examinations," explains psychoanalyst Virginie Megglé. Anxiety of this kind is often combined with a heightened sense of responsibility, which is characteristic of those who are used to taking care of others.

Read also an ideal remedy for scattered driving

I draw a catastrophic scenario. In every possible way to evade the receipt of a driver's license,whose imagination is filled with frightening thoughts: "I can not manage the management", "I risk becoming the culprit of the accident" ... "The car that we do not have yet becomes the object of our fantasies, and we can unconsciously project on him thoughts of death" psychoanalyst.

It's hard for me to grow up. The inability to drive drives us into a dependent position. "It's often a sign that it's hard for us to grow up," Virgini Meggle continues. - The fear of losing all the advantages of childhood is stronger than the natural desire to gain independence. It happens that parents, not realizing this problem, insist that their child surrender to the rights, thereby reinforcing his inner protest. " And then instead of driving the car ourselves, we prefer to depend on who will give us a lift if necessary.

read also Why are we driving like this? My decision

Galina, 34 years old, nurse

"When my mother was nervous, I was very risky, even if my brother and I were sitting in the backseat. And she often told me that I was not fit for anything. It took me many years to overcome my fear and decide to drive. I asked my husband to teach me how to drive.I was more comfortable with him than with the driving instructor. I told myself that my mother was wrong and that I would succeed. And it turned out: after six months of training, I got a driver's license on the first attempt. "

What to do Move forward in stages

Divide the receipt of the driver's license for individual segments (enroll in courses, buy a collection of tickets ...). And continue to shorten these segments until the task on each of them does not seem feasible (enroll in the courses: first find the nearest to the house, then dial the number and negotiate ...). Enjoy what you are already doing, and improve what can be improved through training. And do not consider getting rights the end of the path: after all, you will learn further.

read also "No" means "maybe" Live in the present

Constantly thinking about the failures in the future ("I'm going to get traffic rules", "I'll mix the gas with the brake" ...), we lose touch with the present. To restore it, switch to immediate experiences ("No danger threatens me during the lesson or in this stationary machine"), do not look too far into the future and do not miss the chance to rejoice in the present.

Approve your choice

To surrender to the rights is not to become like everyone else. If you reject driving as behavior involving danger or cruelty, consider that the choice of driving style depends only on you. If you wish, you can take any precautions: for example, to drive only during the day and not to exceed the speed limit.

Read also "Well, who goes that way!""Well, who goes that way!"

Many of those who sit behind the wheel, you can not just quote further. As if some dark mechanisms are included in us together with the turn of the key in the ignition lock. Whence this madness of emotions and deeds?

Pedestrian and his motoristsPedestrian and his motorists

Even the best friends sometimes find it difficult to understand each other - especially if one is a driver and another is a pedestrian. All the time it turns out that they see the world from different angles.

Text: Elsa Lestwickaya Photo source: Getty Images
  • Like0
  • Like0
  • Tweet 0
  • Class! 0
  • Mail0
P about this theme new on the site
  • "Because of my father, I do not have a man"
  • The tragedy in Kemerovo: "I feel nothing, I'm bad?"
  • How not to burn out at work: 3 useful rules
  • 5 signs that your marriage is at stake
  • I constantly feel stupid
  • "Any tragedy in our country turns into a reduction of accounts"
  • 6 exercises to translate dreams into reality
  • Self-worth: how to learn to be yourself
Log in to be able to leave comments.
Подробнее

I'm afraid to take the driver's license examination


"How to imagine myself driving: so much to remember! Steering wheel, gas, brake, a lot of rules ... I just barely breathe when I think about it, - confesses 44-year-old Alexander. - Maybe I should not take the right. Suddenly, I will be a bad driver, a threat to others on the road? "But Alexander is a man with a higher education, an experienced archivist, a mother of three, knows and knows a lot. So why does she, like many of her comrades in misfortune, feel that she can not surrender to the rights?

I avoid possible failures. Driving license does not get without an exam, even two: first you need to pass the theory (traffic rules), then driving. But the very thought of this is of concern to many, it "awakens in us the fear of failure associated with examinations," explains psychoanalyst Virginie Megglé. Anxiety of this kind is often combined with a heightened sense of responsibility, which is characteristic of those who are used to taking care of others.

Read also an ideal remedy for scattered driving

I draw a catastrophic scenario. In every possible way to evade the receipt of a driver's license,whose imagination is filled with frightening thoughts: "I can not manage the management", "I risk becoming the culprit of the accident" ... "The car that we do not have yet becomes the object of our fantasies, and we can unconsciously project on him thoughts of death" psychoanalyst.

It's hard for me to grow up. The inability to drive drives us into a dependent position. "It's often a sign that it's hard for us to grow up," Virgini Meggle continues. - The fear of losing all the advantages of childhood is stronger than the natural desire to gain independence. It happens that parents, not realizing this problem, insist that their child surrender to the rights, thereby reinforcing his inner protest. " And then instead of driving the car ourselves, we prefer to depend on who will give us a lift if necessary.

read also Why are we driving like this? My decision

Galina, 34 years old, nurse

"When my mother was nervous, I was very risky, even if my brother and I were sitting in the backseat. And she often told me that I was not fit for anything. It took me many years to overcome my fear and decide to drive. I asked my husband to teach me how to drive.I was more comfortable with him than with the driving instructor. I told myself that my mother was wrong and that I would succeed. And it turned out: after six months of training, I got a driver's license on the first attempt. "

What to do Move forward in stages

Divide the receipt of the driver's license for individual segments (enroll in courses, buy a collection of tickets ...). And continue to shorten these segments until the task on each of them does not seem feasible (enroll in the courses: first find the nearest to the house, then dial the number and negotiate ...). Enjoy what you are already doing, and improve what can be improved through training. And do not consider getting rights the end of the path: after all, you will learn further.

read also "No" means "maybe" Live in the present

Constantly thinking about the failures in the future ("I'm going to get traffic rules", "I'll mix the gas with the brake" ...), we lose touch with the present. To restore it, switch to immediate experiences ("No danger threatens me during the lesson or in this stationary machine"), do not look too far into the future and do not miss the chance to rejoice in the present.

Approve your choice

To surrender to the rights is not to become like everyone else. If you reject driving as behavior involving danger or cruelty, consider that the choice of driving style depends only on you. If you wish, you can take any precautions: for example, to drive only during the day and not to exceed the speed limit.

Read also "Well, who goes that way!""Well, who goes that way!"

Many of those who sit behind the wheel, you can not just quote further. As if some dark mechanisms are included in us together with the turn of the key in the ignition lock. Whence this madness of emotions and deeds?

Pedestrian and his motoristsPedestrian and his motorists

Even the best friends sometimes find it difficult to understand each other - especially if one is a driver and another is a pedestrian. All the time it turns out that they see the world from different angles.

Text: Elsa Lestwickaya Photo source: Getty Images
  • Like0
  • Like0
  • Tweet 0
  • Class! 0
  • Mail0
P about this theme new on the site
  • "Because of my father, I do not have a man"
  • The tragedy in Kemerovo: "I feel nothing, I'm bad?"
  • How not to burn out at work: 3 useful rules
  • 5 signs that your marriage is at stake
  • I constantly feel stupid
  • "Any tragedy in our country turns into a reduction of accounts"
  • 6 exercises to translate dreams into reality
  • Self-worth: how to learn to be yourself
Log in to be able to leave comments.
Подробнее

I'm afraid to take the driver's license examination


"How to imagine myself driving: so much to remember! Steering wheel, gas, brake, a lot of rules ... I just barely breathe when I think about it, - confesses 44-year-old Alexander. - Maybe I should not take the right. Suddenly, I will be a bad driver, a threat to others on the road? "But Alexander is a man with a higher education, an experienced archivist, a mother of three, knows and knows a lot. So why does she, like many of her comrades in misfortune, feel that she can not surrender to the rights?

I avoid possible failures. Driving license does not get without an exam, even two: first you need to pass the theory (traffic rules), then driving. But the very thought of this is of concern to many, it "awakens in us the fear of failure associated with examinations," explains psychoanalyst Virginie Megglé. Anxiety of this kind is often combined with a heightened sense of responsibility, which is characteristic of those who are used to taking care of others.

Read also an ideal remedy for scattered driving

I draw a catastrophic scenario. In every possible way to evade the receipt of a driver's license,whose imagination is filled with frightening thoughts: "I can not manage the management", "I risk becoming the culprit of the accident" ... "The car that we do not have yet becomes the object of our fantasies, and we can unconsciously project on him thoughts of death" psychoanalyst.

It's hard for me to grow up. The inability to drive drives us into a dependent position. "It's often a sign that it's hard for us to grow up," Virgini Meggle continues. - The fear of losing all the advantages of childhood is stronger than the natural desire to gain independence. It happens that parents, not realizing this problem, insist that their child surrender to the rights, thereby reinforcing his inner protest. " And then instead of driving the car ourselves, we prefer to depend on who will give us a lift if necessary.

read also Why are we driving like this? My decision

Galina, 34 years old, nurse

"When my mother was nervous, I was very risky, even if my brother and I were sitting in the backseat. And she often told me that I was not fit for anything. It took me many years to overcome my fear and decide to drive. I asked my husband to teach me how to drive.I was more comfortable with him than with the driving instructor. I told myself that my mother was wrong and that I would succeed. And it turned out: after six months of training, I got a driver's license on the first attempt. "

What to do Move forward in stages

Divide the receipt of the driver's license for individual segments (enroll in courses, buy a collection of tickets ...). And continue to shorten these segments until the task on each of them does not seem feasible (enroll in the courses: first find the nearest to the house, then dial the number and negotiate ...). Enjoy what you are already doing, and improve what can be improved through training. And do not consider getting rights the end of the path: after all, you will learn further.

read also "No" means "maybe" Live in the present

Constantly thinking about the failures in the future ("I'm going to get traffic rules", "I'll mix the gas with the brake" ...), we lose touch with the present. To restore it, switch to immediate experiences ("No danger threatens me during the lesson or in this stationary machine"), do not look too far into the future and do not miss the chance to rejoice in the present.

Approve your choice

To surrender to the rights is not to become like everyone else. If you reject driving as behavior involving danger or cruelty, consider that the choice of driving style depends only on you. If you wish, you can take any precautions: for example, to drive only during the day and not to exceed the speed limit.

Read also "Well, who goes that way!""Well, who goes that way!"

Many of those who sit behind the wheel, you can not just quote further. As if some dark mechanisms are included in us together with the turn of the key in the ignition lock. Whence this madness of emotions and deeds?

Pedestrian and his motoristsPedestrian and his motorists

Even the best friends sometimes find it difficult to understand each other - especially if one is a driver and another is a pedestrian. All the time it turns out that they see the world from different angles.

Text: Elsa Lestwickaya Photo source: Getty Images
  • Like0
  • Like0
  • Tweet 0
  • Class! 0
  • Mail0
P about this theme new on the site
  • "Because of my father, I do not have a man"
  • The tragedy in Kemerovo: "I feel nothing, I'm bad?"
  • How not to burn out at work: 3 useful rules
  • 5 signs that your marriage is at stake
  • I constantly feel stupid
  • "Any tragedy in our country turns into a reduction of accounts"
  • 6 exercises to translate dreams into reality
  • Self-worth: how to learn to be yourself
Log in to be able to leave comments.
Подробнее

Pedestrian and his motorists


Resign, I say to myself, a pedestrian is doomed: it is he who will look for his friend-driver. This seems strange only at first glance. Ask why the person on the wheels just can not pass this divided quarter, it's pointless. Everything is obvious: there is no turning, there is nowhere to park, but to quit the car and walk is unthinkable - who leaves the car unattended? And suddenly the tow truck? But nothing threatens me. I can go where I want, no one will take my legs and carry them to the parking lot. I should rejoice, but for some reason, instead of feeling superior I feel anguish and irritation.
Another wonderful thing is a navigator. The driver is not responsible for anything. "The navigator told me that I will finish in 15 minutes." Navigator and blame that the road was three times longer. The case of a waiting pedestrian is to take care of yourself, quickly understand what his interlocutor does not know at the wheel: the navigator is not a superior force, he is not omniscient. So, maybe it's better to take a cozy place in the nearest cafe, and not to stumble on the street in the designated place, taking on the promise of the promise of a mechanical voice.Of course, there is a chance that they will hardly bring us a foamed cappuccino, we will hear a friend call: "Where are you? Come faster, here parking is forbidden! "But the freedom of choice is ours: if you want - frantically pay for the unfertilized coffee, and if you want - so stand the meerkat at the road, peer into the stream of cars.

read also

I do not want to learn to drive

Separately about traffic jams. "I'm standing in traffic" - a magic phrase that justifies any delay at any time. Traffic jams are a fierce and unpredictable element, and in human power to oppose it only with unbending will and perseverance. This causes respect. He who overcomes the traffic jam is a winner and can not be tried. A pedestrian is able to calculate his step forward - 5 km / h, it's still in the school textbook of mathematics written. So all his tardiness is pure sloppiness and lack of character.
Previously, I was simply rejoicing when another friend of mine, a friend or friend of both sexes, got behind the wheel: a new skill, new opportunities. Now I'm thinking more and more. We have to find ourselves in different worlds and speak different languages. I will be near the metro station "Ulitsa 1905 goda", and when he / she says: "I'm at Zvenigorodsky", I do not understand that it's five minutes from me.But do not interrupt the same acquaintance due to self-driving? There is, of course, a way out - and many people advise me - to get in the driver's seat. But I live next to the metro and appreciate its reliability and predictability ... that is, in the city I absolutely do not need a car, like a headache with expensive gasoline, unforeseen repairs, fines and the like. And for the city I have friends-motorists. They wait patiently until I get my belongings to the place near my house, where it's more convenient for them to stop, and then we go together, and I'm blissful and passive as long as they control the situation and are responsible for our common security. And I serenely admire the fields and forests that are unlikely to please me, I look at them through the window of an electric train ... All this I will surely remind myself the next time I will walk along the broken streets to get to the car that is from me in five minutes ... drive.

read also

Road: the space of aggression or freedom?

  • Like0
  • Like0
  • Tweet 0
  • Class! 0
  • Mail0
P about this theme new on the site
  • "Because of my father, I do not have a man"
  • The tragedy in Kemerovo: "I feel nothing, I'm bad?"
  • How not to burn out at work: 3 useful rules
  • 5 signs that your marriage is at stake
  • I constantly feel stupid
  • "Any tragedy in our country turns into a reduction of accounts"
  • 6 exercises to translate dreams into reality
  • Self-worth: how to learn to be yourself
Log in to be able to leave comments.
Подробнее

"Well, who goes that way!"


Recently, I stayed with friends, when I arrived without a car, we agreed that my daughter would then throw me home. To admit, I was a little worried about the driving skills of a 19-year-old girl. As it turned out, in vain: she drives very well. But it is expressed in this case not very much. Not that I have not heard anything like this before - I heard, but mostly from the mouths of junior sergeants and corporals during the army service, and not from the sophomore of the Moscow State University. The girl herself was very worried, obviously trying to hold back, and on parting asked me not to tell my parents everything. I promised, but I shared with my wife. She ironically looked at me and chuckled: "Have you ever heard yourself driving at all?"

The road to infancy

According to sociologists, 47% of Russian drivers consider the extremely low level of culture of participants in the movement to be the main problem on the roads. In this case, the very existence of the car as if implying a certain level of education or qualifications, which are simply necessary to earn it. So what happens with our education, upbringing and culture, when we sit behind the wheel?

In English, there is the notion of "road rage".In Russian it can be translated roughly as "aggressive behavior on the road." But it will be too clumsy and neutral. Road rage is anger, rage, intolerance, which literally overwhelm many drivers. And these feelings are familiar to us no worse than the British and Americans.

MACHINE GIVES ILLUSION OF PROTECTED AND ONLY OUR SPACE. DOES IT MEAN OTHERS, OTHERS FOR US - IS IT INTERFERENCE?

It is curious that this ferocious beast wakes up in us not just in the car, but at the wheel. Agree, in the passenger seat, few people think of scolding the last words of zazevavshihsya pedestrians or "gambling" of drivers. Apparently, aggression comes along with the understanding that we control the situation.

This is absolutely true, the psychologist Leon James is convinced, who devoted years of research to the behavior of aggressive drivers. After all, when we get behind the wheel, the car, in fact, becomes a continuation of ourselves. "It allows us to exercise direct control over the world around us," explains the psychologist. "The machine is powerful and obedient, it reacts instantly to our orders, and this gives rise to pleasure, connected with a sense of power." **

But psychoanalysis constantly reminds us: the desire for the infant feeling of omnipotence lives in each of us. And we are very close to him at the wheel. Is it any wonder that any hindrances on the way to its achievement cause a storm of anger in us? The fugitive, squeezed into the turntable in front of us, the red light not flashing in time, the hardly crawling truck ahead ruthlessly brings us back to reality from the world of sweet illusion in which everything is subject to us.

Illusion of protection

Leon James also notes another reason for the unpleasant changes at the wheel: "Even very discreet people can become irritable when driving. This is largely due to the peculiar effect of anonymity: we do not know who controls the other car, and are inclined to attribute the most negative features to these unknown drivers, sharply criticizing them (although this criticism does not reach their ears). " It is unlikely that we will bring down the same anger at a man who accidentally touched us with a shoulder in the metro or on the street. At least, not having made sure at first that we are not dealing with a morose big man. The machine removes this restraining barrier. It creates the illusion of a protected and undivided space that belongs to us only.

The metal body serves as armor (the reliability of which, alas, we all, as a rule, overestimate). And the comfortable interior sets up a kind and carefree mode: comfortably adjustable armchairs, headrests and steering column, a radio with excellent sound quality and a large screen, and recently even the ability to access the Internet directly from behind the wheel - all this dulls our vigilance. "In a sense," adds the psychologist, "this feeling of comfort and safety is akin to a car with a mother's womb, further strengthening our craving for infant omnipotence."

And the word, and business

The habit of swearing at the wheel of none of us, to put it mildly, does not paint. However, this is not the worst manifestation of the road rage itself. It is much more dangerous when aggression is embodied not in word, but in action. And in terms of aggressive driving, we can quite argue with hackers from Turkey or Egypt. The craving for complete control, and the illusion of protection, and the dullness of comfort, can manifest itself not only in the streams of abuse, but also in the gas pedal pressed into the floor. There are reckless driving and other reasons.

Aggressive driving can be an unconscious ploy,the desire to protect themselves from a constant existential anxiety, says psychologist Jean-Pascal Assailly, a researcher at the National Institute for Transport and Security Studies of France. "The sheer danger is better than" intangible "stress, the reasons for which we are not clear," he explains. - Such a replacement, by the way, occurs with phobias, when an incomprehensible person's anxiety is embodied in the fear of spiders or enclosed space. He himself creates a convincing reason for horror: what torments from within, acquires a name and appearance. "*** Thus, everyday stress is quite capable of turning a quiet office clerk, who no one suspects of aggression, is a real monster on the road.

Finally, our desire for acute sensations has also physiological grounds: in a situation of danger, the brain releases a special substance called dopamine, which causes a feeling with little comparable pleasure and excitement.

In a word, we have enough reasons for aggressive behavior at the wheel. Is it possible, in spite of all these reasons, to pacify the "road beast"?

The art of staying alive

If desired - yes, the psychologist Ernest Light answers.In the past our compatriot, he has been working in Canada for many years. In this country, many insurance programs provide for participants in an accident course of psychotherapy. It is this work that he is busy with. "When I got a driver's license in San Francisco in 1991, I needed a test to know the rules of the road," says the therapist. - Among all the questions I remembered one, which I simply could not imagine in the USSR. It sounded like this: "Safe driving is ..." And the options are: a) compliance with traffic rules; b) taking into account the traffic situation and choosing the right distance; c) the art of living. Option "B" fell away immediately as not related to the case, and I chose, it seems, "a". I passed the test then, but among several errors there was also an answer to this question. It was correct: "Safe driving is the art of staying alive". And my many years of experience working with people who have been in car accidents, constantly confirms the wisdom of this answer. "

Protection against aggression

Psychologist Ernest Light (Earnest Light) offers some simple recommendations to those who would like to reduce their own level of aggression at the wheel and less to suffer from the aggressiveness of othersparticipants in the movement.

  • In case of strange or aggressive behavior of another driver, try to find an explanation for it. For example, a person rushes to a hospital for a suddenly ill relative. Or the mother carries the child and is distracted by communication with him, paying less attention to the traffic situation. Proceed from the presumption of innocence. Respectful reasons why people do not drive very well, much more than some kind of malicious action.
  • Getting into a traffic situation that irritates you or angers, proceed from a simple rule "to a clever bow, to a fool - two". That is, try to concede as often as possible. It is better to skip the car squeezing in front of you than to scratch your for a just cause. Even the most trivial traffic accident takes so much time and nerves, that, for a second remembering about it, it's better to slow down and avoid troubles.
  • If you are taking passengers, be especially careful, because people have entrusted their lives to you. When you get into the car, always remind yourself that safe driving is the art of staying alive.

* The poll "Road safety through the eyes of its participants, employees of the State Traffic Safety Inspectorate and the Society", see on the VCIOM website wciom.ru.

** L. James and D.Nahl "Road Rage and Aggressive Driving" (Prometheus Books, 2000).

*** J.-P. Assailly "La Mortalité chez les jeunes" (PUF, 2001).

Read also "I'm in a panic at the wheel""I'm in a panic at the wheel"

Every month, one of the readers of Psychologies gets an opportunity to consult with a psychotherapist. The conversation is recorded on the recorder: it gives an opportunity to understand what is actually happening in the therapist's office. This time, Valentine came to see Robert Neuburger.

Pedestrian and his motoristsPedestrian and his motorists

Even the best friends sometimes find it difficult to understand each other - especially if one is a driver and another is a pedestrian. All the time it turns out that they see the world from different angles.

Text: Yuri Zubtsov
Подробнее