Regulars gyms, fitness trainers, diet lovers, we lose weight all the time ... And sometimes we do not even guess that we are walking in a circle, following the closed scenario: I want to lose weight - I find the means for this - I lose weight - I reach or do not reach the desired one - I dial again weight - disappointed, upset - I want to lose weight ... It turns out that our unconscious goal - does not lose weight once and for all, and continue to lose weight, stretching this process to infinity.
Chronically losing weight
We consciously set ourselves completely different goals: sexually dress, like men (or husband), tie close and deep relationships, make a career. All this is hampered by our extra weight, which we strive to eliminate. The media support us in this: successful heroines rarely appear before us in the form of fat women. And now, sometimes at the cost of great efforts and sacrifices, the weight decreases! There are no more obstacles, the road is open. And suddenly the arrow on the scales again begins to deviate treacherously to the right. Farewell, attire, attitudes and promotion.
And often this is not the first time. What's wrong with us?
"It's not the same thing to dream about something and be ready to fulfill your dream," remarks Gestalt therapist, expert in overweight psycho-correction Maria Pakshina. - Many women are not internally ready for the development of the situation. Perhaps they do not know how to build deep relationships, perhaps they are intimidated by intimacy, difficulties that have begun, and maybe they just thought of the first part of the plan, and somehow forgot about the second part. " And our body rushes to the rescue, it tells us the way out of the situation - to hide, as in childhood, with our head under the saving blanket. In adulthood, the role of the blanket is played by a fatty layer in which one can hide, hide from prying eyes, and wait out troubles.
Fat: how many emotions?
Not in vain, fat is called a "protective layer" - it protects us from what we fear. From prying eyes, from sexual intimacy, from a dangerous external world. "In light cases, this can be an extra five kilos, with which a woman fights forever and who invariably return back," observes Maria Pakshina. "In more serious cases, heavy weight, solid armor, guarding a vulnerable heart."Those who suffer from chronic obesity often experienced a childhood trauma associated with sexual harassment or violence. Understand the underlying causes of excess weight, stir up painful experiences - this many may seem frightening. And it may seem that it is better to feel the eternal discontent with your fat and yourself than to revise relationships with relatives, admit to yourself in forbidden feelings (for example, in anger at parents or in shame) with which it is unclear how to cope. In most cases, this choice is made unconsciously.
Gaining weight can also be a simple excuse for yourself: it's easier to tell yourself that I do not meet with anyone, because a complete and such a person does not like me, rather than asking questions: why do I renounce the relationship? What am I afraid of? What am I trying to protect myself from?
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How to understand, from what protects us excess weight?
To finally lose weight, it is useful to understand what his secret benefits are. To do this, answer yourself to a few questions - better write answers and answer each question separately, in order, without getting ahead, warns Maria Pakshina.
Do such an exercise - imagine that you have reached the weight that you dream about. Imagine this as clearly as possible: you woke up in your bed tomorrow morning, get up on the scales - yes, it happened. The problem of excess weight is gone once and for all. You have no fear that you will gain weight again, you are completely sure that the new physical form will now always be with you. What will change in your life?
What are you doing on this day? What is his routine? What is different from your usual day?How is your morning? How is it different from the usual morning? What are you doing differently?What's new you hear? (Maybe, compliments about your new appearance?) What's new you see? (Maybe you notice the interested views of passing men?) How do you feel? How do you respond to these manifestations in each case? (What words do you say, what gestures you make, how your facial expressions change, what feelings are behind it - joy, embarrassment, euphoria, fear of exposure, shame, satisfaction ....)What do you do next, with which people do you meet? Will there be new people and what are they? What do they expect from you? What are you willing to give them (from their expectations), how do you interact with them, what feelings does it cause?How will your new look and new self-perception affect relationships with loved ones? How do they react? What do you feel about it?What new challenges will you face? What new tasks have appeared in your life? Do you want to study them? What problems arose? Do you know how to solve them?
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Prepare for change
Those who do this exercise, usually usually see only the positive side of the changes. But continuing to work with the imagination, we can find that we are concerned about the possible disapproval of relatives (you became "too good" for your family); that we are afraid to attract attention at work, on the street; that we do not know how to respond to compliments and in general they are more embarrassed than pleased; or we are not ready to solve those tasks that could be postponed, until the weight problem is solved (for example, a search for a new job, love or recognition).
"If you have done the exercise and found that you are protected by excess weight - for example, from the attention of men, which you do not yet know how to respond, - this is an excitement to rejoice,- Maria Pakshina comments. "Because it means your weight will go away as soon as you solve the underlying problem."
Sometimes we manage to find the answers to all the questions ourselves, sometimes the help of a professional is useful. And also, to make it easier for us to accept the coming changes in life, we can hold a small rehearsal. After all, each of us can remember popular and beautiful people who are overweight. But how often do we talk about ourselves? I'll lose weight, then I'll take care of myself, I'll dress beautifully, I'll think about changing jobs, I'll find a lesson to my liking, I'll go to dances ... But even the most five people that I've discarded will not even notice. But they will notice the shine in their eyes, a light hike, a beautiful hairstyle, well-groomed nails, new clothes, which we allowed ourselves, because we lost weight. So let's allow ourselves this now!
Center for correction of food addictions "Bereg"
(495) 729 95 36; (903) 729 95 36.