Seasonal depression does not exist


Beginning his work, psychologist Stephen Lobello of the University of Auburn (Alabama) and his colleagues did not set themselves the task to refute the existence of this disorder. They wanted only to more accurately determine the time interval when the ATS is exacerbated, and find out how much its manifestations vary from season to season. In addition, they were interested in whether the prevalence of ATS depends on a particular latitude. "We assumed that in the northern latitudes, because of a short light day in winter, this depression is more common," says Lobello.

Researchers have not been able to detect correlations between the depressive state and the duration of daylight hours

To this end, data from a single large-scale population survey conducted in 2006 by the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention was analyzed, in which respondents answered questions commonly used to diagnose depression. Researchers were primarily interested in the date of the survey and the location of the respondent. In each case, they determined the duration of a day's light at this place on the day of interview.

As data were processed, it became clear that no correlation was found between the depressed state, the time of year and the duration of daylight. The researchers at first did not believe in themselves and assumed that they accidentally missed this relationship - they had to process too much data. Therefore, they further analyzed the responses of those respondents who had been diagnosed with depression. Nevertheless, no data that would indicate a seasonal disorder was still found.

Normal 0 MicrosoftInternetExplorer4

Maybe the answers were unreliable because the survey was conducted by phone? This version also disappeared, because other patterns characteristic of those suffering from depression in the survey were fully apparent (for example, the fact that women and unemployed are more likely to suffer depression).

How to explain the results of this study? Perhaps it's about the questions. Researchers have previously wondered with what time of year the depression is more often associated and at what latitudes it is more prevalent. But in earlier surveys the questions were related to the SAR and, perhaps, involuntarily pushed the respondents to the given answer.And in the survey conducted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, only 8 standard questions were included to identify a major depressive disorder, while no special questions related to ATS were asked.

Lobello and his co-authors do not make any categorical conclusions from the results (it is clear that these data need further verification). However, it can not be ruled out that the extent of the seasonal affective disorder is greatly exaggerated and that in fact they are affected by the units, while other patients are not correctly diagnosed, Lobello suggests.

For more information, see scientificamerican.com

Read also How mood affects brain work <br/>How mood affects the brain

We each have successful and unsuccessful days. Sometimes we live with the feeling that we "got up on the wrong foot", the whole world seems gray and dull, and anxious thoughts come into my head. Of course, on such days it can be difficult to concentrate on work. But how much do such mood swings affect our performance?

Stephen Fry: "Once the sun comes out again"Stephen Fry: "Once the sun comes out again"

Actor and writer Stephen Fry knows about depression firsthand: on the verge of despair, he twice committed suicide attempts.In response to the request of a teenage girl to tell what helped him to find peace of mind, he wrote a letter about how to find light inside himself when it seems that the dark times will not end.

Text: Prepared by Alina Nikolskaya
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Stephen Fry: "Once the sun comes out again"


I found that you can alleviate the situation if you start thinking about your feelings and moods as a weather.

Here are a few all known facts about the weather:

  • It exists in reality.
  • You can not change it, wanting it to disappear.
  • If the window is now dark and rainy, it means that the truth is dark and rainy, and you can not change it.
  • Darkness and rain can last two weeks in a row.

BUT

  • Once again, the sun will look out.
  • No one can decide when the sunny weather will return, but it will return.
  • Once, on a wonderful day.
read also

Live communication and risk of depression

I think the same is true of our mood. It is wrong to consider our feelings as an illusion that does not reflect the real state of affairs. They are real. Depression, anxiety, apathy and stupor are just as real as the weather outside the window - and we are NOT so disgusted. Its not our fault.

BUT

They will pass; the truth will pass.

Just as we take bad weather outside the window, we should accept that sometimes life is seen in a gloomy light. "Today was a rotten day" - that's an ideally realistic approach. The main thing is not to forget to open the umbrella mentally."So-so, it began to rain inside ... well, all right, that's not my fault. I can not help it, just wait. And tomorrow, maybe the sun will return, and when it comes back, I will enjoy it in full. "

read also

"Dear Depression: you lost"

I do not know if you need anything from all this. Perhaps you will decide that you do not, and then I apologize. I just decided to drop a line to you to wish you a good journey in your search - to find at least a little more joy and meaning in life.

Regards,

Stephen Fry. "

For more details, see the website Letters of Note.

Read also Steven Fry. 10 thoughts about love, depression and the meaning of lifeSteven Fry. 10 thoughts about love, depression and the meaning of life

Stephen Fry is an actor, writer, TV and radio presenter, documentary filmmaker, educator, scholar, man-orchestra and national treasure of the United Kingdom.

Depression: how to recognize the danger?Depression: how to recognize the danger?

Depression, sadness, apathy ... Perhaps we just do not have enough sun. And if the cause is deeper? Depression can not be underestimated: it can take months and even years of life for us to take longer.

Text: Prepared by Ksenia Tatarnikova
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How mood affects the brain


"In those days when we have a bad mood, we often think that work or study is more difficult than usual. However, science still does not know exactly how much the mood actually affects our productivity, "says psychologist Sophie von Stumm of London's Goldsmiths University.

read also

"Success brings happiness": this formula does not work?

To learn more about this relationship, von Stumm conducted a study in which 98 people, mostly students (24 men and 74 women, average age 24) took part. Participants were required to undergo a set of tests every day for 5 days (from Monday to Friday), checking their short-term memory, working memory, speed of information processing. They also had to assess their mood and emotional state on a PANAS scale on a daily basis (for this they needed to indicate how intensively on a five-point scale they experience each of 10 positive and 10 negative emotions).

The results showed that both mental performance and mood of subjects could change significantly on different days.However, there was no clear connection between these changes - a low mood was not directly related to poor performance. However, those participants, who on average had the best mood for all five days, showed better results in the tests than the rest. Von Stumm suggests that a propensity for a stable and good mood and high mental performance may have a common genetic nature, and a reduced mood begins to affect labor productivity only in more severe cases.

read also

Who is suitable for freelancing?

"Scientists know areas of the brain and neurotransmitters that are associated with mood, but we know very little about the genetic causes of mood swings. At the same time, the mood is usually subject to stronger changes than our personal traits, but these personal traits determine how and in what direction our mood usually changes. For example, a personality trait such as neuroticity-that is, a tendency to depressive and anxious emotional states-usually leads to more private mood swings, "says Sophie von Stumm.

The study was conducted for a limited period of time, and the results can be considered only preliminary. To get more data on mood and performance relationships, von Stumm and her colleagues developed a special application for Apple devices called moo-Q, with which volunteers can independently take tests to check their mental performance, answer questions about their moods and share this information with researchers, while maintaining anonymity. In the first two weeks, the application downloaded more than 11,000 users.

For more information, see S. Von Stumm, "Is day-to-day variability in cognitive function coupled with day-to-day variability in affect?", Intelligence, vol. 55, March-April 2016.

Read also "I want to go home early""I want to go home early"

The closer the end of the day, the more nervous you are. At home you are already waiting for dinner. Or you go to the theater. Or you need to urgently meet ... But you do not have time to answer all the letters and understand even the most urgent! In addition, colleagues believe that you leave too early (still still sitting).

Four Burnout StoriesFour Burnout Stories

"I'm sick of the thought of Monday," "the new boss is surviving me," "I'm very afraid of letting my colleagues down," "I do not want to be a whipping boy" ... When we do not cope with the situation, professional help is needed.Four stories of burnout from their practice are analyzed by the existential psychotherapist Svetlana Krivtsova.

Text: Nikolay Protsenko
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Seasonal depression does not exist


Beginning his work, psychologist Stephen Lobello from the University of Auburn (Alabama) and his colleagues did not set themselves the task of refuting the existence of this disorder. They wanted only to more accurately determine the time interval when the ATS is exacerbated, and find out how much its manifestations vary from season to season. In addition, they were interested in whether the prevalence of ATS depends on a particular latitude. "We assumed that in the northern latitudes, because of a short light day in winter, this depression is more common," says Lobello.

Researchers have not been able to detect correlations between the depressive state and the duration of daylight hours

To this end, data from a single large-scale population survey conducted in 2006 by the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention were analyzed, in which respondents answered questions commonly used to diagnose depression. Researchers were primarily interested in the date of the survey and the location of the respondent. In each case, they determined the duration of a day's light at this place on the day of interview.

As data were processed, it became clear that no correlation was found between the depressed state, the time of year and the duration of daylight. The researchers at first did not believe in themselves and assumed that they accidentally missed this relationship - they had to process too much data. Therefore, they further analyzed the responses of those respondents who had been diagnosed with depression. Nevertheless, no data that would indicate a seasonal disorder was still found.

Normal 0 MicrosoftInternetExplorer4

Maybe the answers were unreliable because the survey was conducted by phone? This version also disappeared, because other patterns characteristic of those suffering from depression in the survey were fully apparent (for example, the fact that women and unemployed are more likely to suffer depression).

How to explain the results of this study? Perhaps it's about the questions. Researchers have previously wondered with what time of year the depression is more often associated and at what latitudes it is more prevalent. But in earlier surveys the questions were related to the SAR and, perhaps, involuntarily pushed the respondents to the given answer.And in the survey conducted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, only 8 standard questions were included to identify a major depressive disorder, while no special questions related to ATS were asked.

Lobello and his co-authors do not make any categorical conclusions from the results (it is clear that these data need further verification). However, it can not be ruled out that the extent of the seasonal affective disorder is greatly exaggerated and that in fact they are affected by the units, while other patients are not correctly diagnosed, Lobello suggests.

For more information, see scientificamerican.com

Read also How mood affects brain work <br/>How mood affects the brain

We each have successful and unsuccessful days. Sometimes we live with the feeling that we "got up on the wrong foot", the whole world seems gray and dull, and anxious thoughts come into my head. Of course, on such days it can be difficult to concentrate on work. But how much do such mood swings affect our performance?

Stephen Fry: "Once the sun comes out again"Stephen Fry: "Once the sun comes out again"

Actor and writer Stephen Fry knows about depression firsthand: on the verge of despair, he twice committed suicide attempts.In response to the request of a teenage girl to tell what helped him to find peace of mind, he wrote a letter about how to find light inside himself when it seems that the dark times will not end.

Text: Prepared by Alina Nikolskaya
Подробнее

Why "real men" do not like to be treated


Diana Sanchez, along with graduate student Mary Himmelstein (Mary Himmelstein) conducted two studies. One of them was attended by about 250 men who answered the questionnaire via the Internet. Questions were devoted to the definition of masculinity from the point of view of respondents and differences in the psychological qualities of men and women. It turned out that the more "courageous" answers the respondents gave, the more likely they preferred to be treated by male doctors, not women.

Then the researchers asked 250 men, students of a large university, to answer the same questions. After each student, medical students from both sexes talked, asking him about health problems. It is noteworthy that the most "courageous" participants in their answers were much more frank in talking with the "doctor" of a female than in a conversation with a man. Such a controversial approach - the tendency to be treated by male doctors for not being ready to frankly tell them about their medical problems can potentially hamper the effectiveness of treatment.

read also

"Male PMS": myth or reality?

Earlier, the same authors conducted another study1. Mary Himmelshtein and Diane Sanchez interviewed 193 students (88 men and 105 women, average age 19) and another 298 volunteers (148 men and 150 women, mean age 35 years), found via the Internet using the Amazon Mechanical Turk website. As expected, men with traditional ideas of masculinity were less likely to seek medical help, were inclined to minimize their symptoms, and as a result, their health was on average worse than that of women and men who did not share such beliefs. It is interesting that this same problem extended to women who held beliefs traditionally considered male (reliance only on one's own strength, courage, restraint).

read also

Why do heterosexual men have same-sex sex?

"Men still have to be worse because of traditional ideas about masculinity rooted in our culture, which include courage, steadfastness, self-reliance. Women, on the other hand, no one is trying to convince them that they need to ignore health problems and symptoms of diseases so they can be called "a real woman," says Mary Himmelstein.

For more details see M. Himmelstein, D.Sanchez, "Masculinity in the doctor's office: Masculinity, gendered doctor preference and doctor-patient communication", Preventive Medicine, vol. 84, March 2016.

1 M. Himmelstein, D. Sanchez "Masculinity impediments: Internalized masculinity contributes to healthcare avoidance in men and women", Journal of Health Psychology, October 2014.
Подробнее

Why "real men" do not like to be treated


Diana Sanchez, along with graduate student Mary Himmelstein (Mary Himmelstein) conducted two studies. One of them was attended by about 250 men who answered the questionnaire via the Internet. Questions were devoted to the definition of masculinity from the point of view of respondents and differences in the psychological qualities of men and women. It turned out that the more "courageous" answers the respondents gave, the more likely they preferred to be treated by male doctors, not women.

Then the researchers asked 250 men, students of a large university, to answer the same questions. After each student, medical students from both sexes talked, asking him about health problems. It is noteworthy that the most "courageous" participants in their answers were much more frank in talking with the "doctor" of a female than in a conversation with a man. Such a controversial approach - the tendency to be treated by male doctors for not being ready to frankly tell them about their medical problems can potentially hamper the effectiveness of treatment.

read also

"Male PMS": myth or reality?

Earlier, the same authors conducted another study1. Mary Himmelshtein and Diane Sanchez interviewed 193 students (88 men and 105 women, average age 19) and another 298 volunteers (148 men and 150 women, mean age 35 years), found via the Internet using the Amazon Mechanical Turk website. As expected, men with traditional ideas of masculinity were less likely to seek medical help, were inclined to minimize their symptoms, and as a result, their health was on average worse than that of women and men who did not share such beliefs. It is interesting that this same problem extended to women who held beliefs traditionally considered male (reliance only on one's own strength, courage, restraint).

read also

Why do heterosexual men have same-sex sex?

"Men still have to be worse because of traditional ideas about masculinity rooted in our culture, which include courage, steadfastness, self-reliance. Women, on the other hand, no one is trying to convince them that they need to ignore health problems and symptoms of diseases so they can be called "a real woman," says Mary Himmelstein.

For more details see M. Himmelstein, D.Sanchez, "Masculinity in the doctor's office: Masculinity, gendered doctor preference and doctor-patient communication", Preventive Medicine, vol. 84, March 2016.

1 M. Himmelstein, D. Sanchez "Masculinity impediments: Internalized masculinity contributes to healthcare avoidance in men and women", Journal of Health Psychology, October 2014.
Подробнее

Why "real men" do not like to be treated


Diana Sanchez, along with graduate student Mary Himmelstein (Mary Himmelstein) conducted two studies. One of them was attended by about 250 men who answered the questionnaire via the Internet. Questions were devoted to the definition of masculinity from the point of view of respondents and differences in the psychological qualities of men and women. It turned out that the more "courageous" answers the respondents gave, the more likely they preferred to be treated by male doctors, not women.

Then the researchers asked 250 men, students of a large university, to answer the same questions. After each student, medical students from both sexes talked, asking him about health problems. It is noteworthy that the most "courageous" participants in their answers were much more frank in talking with the "doctor" of a female than in a conversation with a man. Such a controversial approach - the tendency to be treated by male doctors for not being ready to frankly tell them about their medical problems can potentially hamper the effectiveness of treatment.

read also

"Male PMS": myth or reality?

Earlier, the same authors conducted another study1. Mary Himmelshtein and Diane Sanchez interviewed 193 students (88 men and 105 women, average age 19) and another 298 volunteers (148 men and 150 women, mean age 35 years), found via the Internet using the Amazon Mechanical Turk website. As expected, men with traditional ideas of masculinity were less likely to seek medical help, were inclined to minimize their symptoms, and as a result, their health was on average worse than that of women and men who did not share such beliefs. It is interesting that this same problem extended to women who held beliefs traditionally considered male (reliance only on one's own strength, courage, restraint).

read also

Why do heterosexual men have same-sex sex?

"Men still have to be worse because of traditional ideas about masculinity rooted in our culture, which include courage, steadfastness, self-reliance. Women, on the other hand, no one is trying to convince them that they need to ignore health problems and symptoms of diseases so they can be called "a real woman," says Mary Himmelstein.

For more details see M. Himmelstein, D.Sanchez, "Masculinity in the doctor's office: Masculinity, gendered doctor preference and doctor-patient communication", Preventive Medicine, vol. 84, March 2016.

1 M. Himmelstein, D. Sanchez "Masculinity impediments: Internalized masculinity contributes to healthcare avoidance in men and women", Journal of Health Psychology, October 2014.
Подробнее

Why "real men" do not like to be treated


Diana Sanchez, along with graduate student Mary Himmelstein (Mary Himmelstein) conducted two studies. One of them was attended by about 250 men who answered the questionnaire via the Internet. Questions were devoted to the definition of masculinity from the point of view of respondents and differences in the psychological qualities of men and women. It turned out that the more "courageous" answers the respondents gave, the more likely they preferred to be treated by male doctors, not women.

Then the researchers asked 250 men, students of a large university, to answer the same questions. After each student, medical students from both sexes talked, asking him about health problems. It is noteworthy that the most "courageous" participants in their answers were much more frank in talking with the "doctor" of a female than in a conversation with a man. Such a controversial approach - the tendency to be treated by male doctors for not being ready to frankly tell them about their medical problems can potentially hamper the effectiveness of treatment.

read also

"Male PMS": myth or reality?

Earlier, the same authors conducted another study1. Mary Himmelshtein and Diane Sanchez interviewed 193 students (88 men and 105 women, average age 19) and another 298 volunteers (148 men and 150 women, mean age 35 years), found via the Internet using the Amazon Mechanical Turk website. As expected, men with traditional ideas of masculinity were less likely to seek medical help, were inclined to minimize their symptoms, and as a result, their health was on average worse than that of women and men who did not share such beliefs. It is interesting that this same problem extended to women who held beliefs traditionally considered male (reliance only on one's own strength, courage, restraint).

read also

Why do heterosexual men have same-sex sex?

"Men still have to be worse because of traditional ideas about masculinity rooted in our culture, which include courage, steadfastness, self-reliance. Women, on the other hand, no one is trying to convince them that they need to ignore health problems and symptoms of diseases so they can be called "a real woman," says Mary Himmelstein.

For more details see M. Himmelstein, D.Sanchez, "Masculinity in the doctor's office: Masculinity, gendered doctor preference and doctor-patient communication", Preventive Medicine, vol. 84, March 2016.

1 M. Himmelstein, D. Sanchez "Masculinity impediments: Internalized masculinity contributes to healthcare avoidance in men and women", Journal of Health Psychology, October 2014.
Подробнее

Why "real men" do not like to be treated


Diana Sanchez, along with graduate student Mary Himmelstein (Mary Himmelstein) conducted two studies. One of them was attended by about 250 men who answered the questionnaire via the Internet. Questions were devoted to the definition of masculinity from the point of view of respondents and differences in the psychological qualities of men and women. It turned out that the more "courageous" answers the respondents gave, the more likely they preferred to be treated by male doctors, not women.

Then the researchers asked 250 men, students of a large university, to answer the same questions. After each student, medical students from both sexes talked, asking him about health problems. It is noteworthy that the most "courageous" participants in their answers were much more frank in talking with the "doctor" of a female than in a conversation with a man. Such a controversial approach - the tendency to be treated by male doctors for not being ready to frankly tell them about their medical problems can potentially hamper the effectiveness of treatment.

read also

"Male PMS": myth or reality?

Earlier, the same authors conducted another study1. Mary Himmelshtein and Diane Sanchez interviewed 193 students (88 men and 105 women, average age 19) and another 298 volunteers (148 men and 150 women, average age 35), found via the Internet through the Amazon Mechanical Turk website. As expected, men with traditional ideas of masculinity were less likely to seek medical help, were inclined to minimize their symptoms, and as a result, their health was on average worse than that of women and men who did not share such beliefs. It is interesting that this same problem extended to women who held beliefs traditionally considered male (reliance only on one's own strength, courage, restraint).

read also

Why do heterosexual men have same-sex sex?

"Men still have to be worse because of traditional ideas about masculinity rooted in our culture, which include courage, steadfastness, self-reliance. Women, on the other hand, no one is trying to convince them that they need to ignore health problems and symptoms of diseases so they can be called "a real woman," says Mary Himmelstein.

For more details see M. Himmelstein, D.Sanchez, "Masculinity in the doctor's office: Masculinity, gendered doctor preference and doctor-patient communication", Preventive Medicine, vol. 84, March 2016.

1 M. Himmelstein, D. Sanchez "Masculinity impediments: Internalized masculinity contributes to healthcare avoidance in men and women", Journal of Health Psychology, October 2014.
Подробнее

Condoms: how do men treat them?


The perception of a condom is influenced by a person's personal history, as well as how he imagines himself and his sexual organ. Basically, condom use causes difficulties for insecure men who are afraid of erectile dysfunction. Most often this problem occurs in men who have reached the age of 50 years. "It seems to me," continues Rossi, "that a condom becomes a problem when men are not sure of the duration of an erection. I will add that if a condom is worn by a partner, a man experiences this even more: he feels that there is a lack of trust, even an accusation, while the man at the moments of intimacy most wants to appear in the most favorable light. " To reduce the dramatic nature of what is happening, it is enough for women to change their attitude, showing by all their behavior that a condom is exactly the means that makes it possible to make love the most relaxed. And do not rudely demand: "Put on!", And offer: "Let's use", helping a partner put on a condom as if it were part of an erotic game, preliminary caress.A lot of women do not realize how difficult this is, the subtle thing - male sexuality: after all, men are not just "machines" for sex. The condom is like a transparent mask that flaunts and exaggerates the problems of every man. It is enough to read the stories presented in this article in order to make sure of it. "

read also the condom: always, sometimes, never ...

At the age of 20-30 the condom is perceived as such a detail, which is better to use less.

Stefan, 25 years old, medical student

"I never made love without a condom. I do not think there is any big difference in whether you're having sex with a condom or not, but that's until the day I tried without. The day when I decide that the time has come will be a great holiday for me, because it will mean that I have found the very girl with whom we will all be serious. This year I met a girl for 3 months, we talked about how you could try to make love without a condom, but I was not sure. And I was right: she left me for one of my friends. I will try not to use a condom only when I am sure that I have found a girl who really loves me and who will not go to the left. Yes, and I will not.In general, when I can make sure that I made the right, final choice. "

Nikolay, 20 years old, confectioner

"My first girlfriend and I made love at once without a condom, because both were virgins. We broke up after two years together. During the first sex after parting with her, I felt lost: I had no idea how and when to put on a condom. I was very uncomfortable, and I did everything wrong. Over the next month, this bloody story became a real torture for all my friends: I could not calm down, I continued to get all the questions and torment them with my doubts. "

read also

Why does not he / she have sex with me?

Leonid, 21, student of art school

"I always wear a condom, but a second before orgasm I take it off. And the greatest pleasure I experience when I finish on the partner or her in the mouth. For me, this ritual is very important. If I can not fully be "inside" a partner, I want to at least have the opportunity to cum on her body without a condom, not to be wrapped in plastic. If I end up in a condom, it's very, very much like the feeling of masturbation. "

Renat, 20 years old, student-economist

"For me," sex "automatically means" condom ".Parents, school, television - all this gave me an indissoluble sequence of "sex-condoms". I never made love without it. Naturally, this reflected on the rhythm of the whole process, especially the first time. But now I've adjusted myself, I put it on for a second, without any problems. I can imagine that without him, the sensations would be quite different. And maybe I would change something in the process itself. If I could stay longer inside the woman I just loved, I would be more relaxed and I would even have time for tenderness. And instead you are distracted, while you put on or take it off, the magic of all this disappears. "

read also Polyamory: a lot of love - a lot of happiness?

Men aged 30 to 40 years even use a condom, but mostly not of their own free will.

Felix, 32 years old, engineer

"If it's sex for one night - no problem: I put it on before the partner asks me. And if I feel that a relationship can start, I prefer not to use it. I had it three times, and all three times I insisted on not using it to achieve maximum closeness.All my partners took my request as a lack of respect for them. And I understood this as a refusal. If I feel for the partner something more, I like to present her as the mother of my children, albeit not immediately. Relations, from which in principle a child may appear, seem more exciting to me. The condom protects against death, but makes life more banal. If you wear it, it neutralizes the risk, but it can greatly reduce the passion. I wear it, but only because it's so necessary. So often I have a feeling that I like to row in some kind of vacuum. "

Mark, 38 years old, stage designer

"I always used condoms without problems. Sensations, of course, become dull, but there are also advantages. For example, excitation is better controlled, the erection lasts longer. Of course, you do not have that sense of pleasure when you leave a part of yourself in your partner: when everything is over, the feeling that nothing has happened, no risk, the mood does not change. But it's good for now. Every time when a girl asked me to do without a condom, I hesitated. Maybe that's why I started giving in, because without "protection" I felt,that he must take on a certain responsibility, or at least be ready for it. "

read also

Why is it (a): how do we choose each other

George, 36, responsible for external relations

"I have a reputation as a seducer. And really, I can not resist the temptation. The condom gives me a sense of freedom of action, to which I turn, without thinking. If I have it with me in my wallet, I behave quite differently, as if I did not have it. With some women, I would never have made love without a condom. I tried not to carry it around with me, to somehow change my approach to the opposite sex, to learn how to build relationships. And I realized that a condom is a tool for someone who wants to protect themselves ... from true love. "

Timur, 36 years old, cook

"I started to have sex with women early and realized my homosexuality only at 26. I always used a condom, and yet I'm HIV-infected: apparently, one of them was defective ... When I found out about it, my world collapsed. I did not give a damn about anything and everything, I had sex without a condom, but only with the same people as me, HIV-positive.Now I have a boyfriend and we always use a condom. My elect does not bother with this at all, he never had sex in any other way and did not do it. But even if he asked me to neglect the condom, I would never have done it: the thought that I can infect him, horrifies me. "

read also Male and female sexuality: what are the true differences

For very many 40-50-year-olds, a condom is something foreign, which prevents pleasure.

Raul, 54 years old, director

"I divorced almost 16 years ago, and since then I have not found (yes, honestly, and not looking for) a permanent partner. I rarely used a condom for one simple reason - I had an erection because of him. Besides, I do not have many connections. When I meet a woman who is interested in me and which I do not yet know, I like to devote myself completely to all the subtleties of courtship, from playful mutual views to preliminary caresses. All this interests me much more than sex itself. I'm a fairly rational person, and the final part, at least for me, is not basic in a relationship.Previously, it was not, but the older I get, the more important the fantasy. And I have enough of them. "

Martin, 47 years old, dentist

"I've been married for over 20 years, and I'm absolutely faithful ... because of laziness. Without a doubt, I might have a lot of adventures on the side, if not for the constant concern about the condom. I used it only 10 times in my entire life. For me to wear it is a whole story. I spend a lot of time on it, my hands shake when I open the package, I turn it around with difficulty, besides, the more you think, however you adjust, the more you get on ... But worst of all, I stop focusing on directly sexual intercourse. And in such situations, I disappointed a couple of times. This discourages me from doing anything to change anything. "

read also From child love to adult libido: the emergence of sexuality

Anton, 50 years old, photographer

"I was married 20 years, the first time I used a condom 5 years ago. It does not cause difficulties, but I do not get any pleasure. At some point, I just need to take it off and finish without it. I did not use it very often, and only because I was asked.With each new novel, I immerse myself in feelings. I understand perfectly well that this is a rather risky behavior, and in order to calm myself, I always think that among my acquaintances there is no one who can have sexually transmitted diseases. And nevertheless, I still try to get only a stable relationship. "

Alexander, 48 years old, publisher

"In the 1980s, I was in America, just when HIV was mowing everyone. I then instantly changed all my sexual habits, and now the use of a condom does not represent for me absolutely no inconvenience. Use it - a thing quite natural, like washing hands before eating. Moreover, it seems to me that he has a lot of advantages. He gives every meeting a playful, frivolous mood, as if two adults are addicted to the game, without any hidden hints and meaningful views. "

Read also How to love oral sexHow to love oral sex

The paradox, but, being the undisputed leader of the list of male sexual fantasies, fellatio remains the most problematic kind of contact for most women.

6 myths about infidelity6 myths about infidelity

What determines the union of the two, what we think about infidelity and what we are mistaken about. The opinion of the family psychotherapist Inna Khamitova.

Text: Prepared by Ksenia Medvedeva
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